"The Unbearable Wackness of Being"

Pressure Drops

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 23:18:00 GMT

I was driving home from the funeral and I almost ran over a lot of quail-babies, whose mother decided to cross the road just as I came around the corner, and when I'd almost killed myself avoiding them, decided to lead her kids across again as I started driving again. It's a day for pathetic parents. Ryan's mother made me wanna hork. I know her son just died, but she's still pretty much the one responsible for the tradgedy, and I don't think I can forgive her that.

We were the eleven o’clock news
because while the rest of the world
was going to hell we made love.

- R.B.

During the funeral there were references to Myspace, an Atmosphere song was quoted, and a segment of a Death Cab song was sung (you can guess which one)
I wonder which cultural tidbits'll end up in my funeral. At least have a couple of sweaty/tearful punk singalongs at the beach when I die, huh?

The moment in history when George Lucas thought to himself, "Hmm I think I'll call 'em Ewoks"

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 11:21:56 GMT

Upon the subject of making a resolution to talk to myself more often,
or writing an essay with diagrams on the importance of a good spliff and peppermint tea break at 3:36 in the morning when I need to stop reading old Star Wars paperback spinoff fiction,
or not seeing anyone and being stuck in the woods by choice for days, not because I have no money...
I spent the last of that on a Dean Martin movie. Boy, was that dude suave but also kinda really greasy or what?

resolution #2: Wear all black more often. But, maybe some white canvass kicks. I could get down with that.

(Nike has a model of shoe called the Ewok now. They tell me that they're furry)
I was hitching home today and on the first ride the girl, as she let me into the back asked if I was a psycho killer, I was all "No, I'm just overdressed and smelly." I buckled up, and she asked if her car smelled particullarly nice, and I went "Is it the new Calvin Kline scent?" in a silly voice. It actually was, as it turned out.

The skin over the veins on my left wrist, blueish green creased with pinkish shadows in bad light. It's really tender allofasudden, so I do believe I'll have another cigarette, get to the middle of it, get depressed, and probably go to bed after listening to the Hold Steady sing epicly about getting high for a couple. I love having the clothes of people who live some other place.
Guilt Free! Enjoy those Vaurnets while you can, Yuka.

Good night and love,

Zen Bus-stops

Vaguely A Minor

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 05:14:23 GMT

She has an ass like the "For Those About to Rock" by AC/DC.

The poor policemen. They can't go to Dunkin' Donuts anymore for fear of their own legacy, so they buy them on the internet with Paypall. They keep the donuts on the top shelves of their cupboards, and the cop children steal them while their cop fathers are on duty. The cop children have now developed beer-bellies and flat-tops.
Driving their beat in plastic squad-cars and giving their Tonka Toys tickets for double-parking.

The world should know that they are safe from the threat of drunken, brawling GI Joes.

Valentines day was invented by Hallmark

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 03:26:26 GMT

and Halloween is just an excuse for elementry school teachers to teach their kids about skeletons in science

i'm developing some new ideas about my relationship between getting stoned and producing things. i found some really great acrylic paint in a drawer.

In space no one can hear you scream for ice-cream

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 01:27:33 GMT

We saw David Sedaris while seeing Sonic Youth last night.

Shitstorm

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 18:39:49 GMT

As far as the whole "get clean" scotch tape thing goes, i did pretty admirably for the 20 hours i spent between my house and portland. Hanging out with skinheads is not condusive to staying sober, and I spent a week drinking a whole box of Franzia every day with sevanna.
Sonoma County is following me around, lurking in dark alleys and wearing a fake moustache. In portland i saw resilience, and could have seen the Velvet Teen, who I saw last night in Seattle. Tomorrow I'm going to see Derge somewhere in Seattle.
I smoke a pipe now, and it's not even my own fault.

It's my fucking birthday.

Last night some really nice kids let me stay in their apartment. I'm using their computer, but i may have lost my cell-phone

route after this:
bellingham
Vancouver (Canada)
Banff National park (canada)
Darah in Kansas
Jesse, Mary, hopefully Steven
Unknown after that.

One huge step for trailer-trash

Sat, 27 May 2006 18:29:20 GMT

My parents were going to kick me out because I sleep with girls in my room, but they got squemish and just decided to kick me into the 20-year-old RV behind the barn. I wouldn't mind if they had had a better reason and they hadn't kicked Tony out there too.

Where am I gonna put my turntable?

Detox

Sun, 21 May 2006 18:31:06 GMT

I might have had a couple of drinks before work today and I may have set off the alarm system there and I might have had the cops come and I may be a nervous wreck, but I am certainly not in jail.
I believe in miracles, like how many times this morning A.J. offered me detox pills and the fact that he is taking them and that perhaps they will actually work.

Kevin Black

Mon, 08 May 2006 15:06:21 GMT

doesn't smoke cigarettes or drink or do drugs but he smokes Black Jewel cigarillos.

He's also very clever.

I'm going to go to a fucking Phenomenauts show this weekend at the Phoenix with Dani and him. That was exactly what it was the first time I went to the Phoenix. When I saw him on saturday it was the first time I'd seen him in 2 years, and when I went over to Dani's house it was the first time I'd been there in 3. Time is extending. I'm getting more grown up by the second.

Craters

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 21:49:15 GMT

Is it too late to remember looting beer out of exploded houses?
I met someone earlier this year who'd also looted that place.
Ryan's Beach right? Two summers ago?
Time to take on the bike again.

Food for Thoughtlessness

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 20:40:37 GMT

I have guilt stuck in my teeth.
We put ourselves in a blender with a substantial helping of awkward love triangles and wine and there are still chunks of ourselves to choke on.
It's like when you're eating popcorn too fast but not noticing it because the movie's so riveting, but then you're so busy trying to remove the shards of kernel embedded in your gums that you miss the next scene.

The movie wasn't that good anyway.

Fuck you man. Fuck you.

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 19:39:28 GMT

http://www.xanga.com/profile.aspx?user=Shadow2007

The difference between fist-fights and verbal abuse

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 07:56:08 GMT

Birthdays that are the same as mine:

Elliott Smith and Andy Warhol.

Foam ducks/Dome fucks

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:11:02 GMT

I'm tired of getting drunk. I think a lot of my drinking buddies are too. Somebody help us and tell me where to find interesting drugs.
Somebody also rescue me from this boredom. I'm totally exhausted. I miss Laurel.
Off to bless Tom and Nick's opinion of me with a bottle of wine.

Constipation (Not just for the colon)

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 21:50:02 GMT

It's really weird talking with your parents about your cigarette withdrawls.

Last night "Born to Run" came on the radio as I was pulling into a parking-space near the Phoenix Theater. I was sitting in my car shouting along when some passing street-punks laughed and flipped me off. The shame. Then two of the guys from Polar Bears told me that they loved my sweatshirt, which made me feel better. Gabe from Santiago was wearing an Exasperation Missionary T-shirt too.

Aaaaannd......

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 06:16:20 GMT

Do not drink lots of wine while watching the movie "Pride & Prejudice" for the following reasons:

1. You will not be able to understand what they're saying, what with the accents.

2. You will cry so much that your friends, (Or your mom) will think you are a total fag.

Goodnight moon, goodnight porridge, goodnight cigarettes.

Holy Shit!

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 22:25:04 GMT

Anthony just gave me the complete new Exasperation Missionary cd. It's great! I'm totally blown away. It's not nearly as catchy, and the songs are much longer, but they totally pay off. I hope the next album takes a whole lot less time to make, and that it shows as much progress.
Congratulations, Tony. This is awesome.

The Shitkicker

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 06:20:43 GMT

There's a really acute boredom between the first and last centimeter and a half of a cigarette. All the chipped coffee mugs in our cabinet are remnants of the old set off good china, and all the dull knives used to be sharp, and so on and so on. I felt really lost while doing the dishes a couple minutes ago.

Funcecap

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 21:35:59 GMT

Let's just put a fucking epilogue on that last post. How ridiculous is it that the healthiest, most loving relationship I've ever been in is with a girl who plans to go and get married to some other dude who's much much cooler than me as soon as they're done having their "break", and neither of us has any idea when that is. I'm fucking annoyed, man. I'm not resentful of any person. I'm resentful of a situation in which no matter how much love there is I'm STILL GETTING USED. I'm a fucking means to an end: Laurel and A.J. getting married and living happily ever after, which, I might add, is great. I would have been totally amped about that had it not been for the fact that now I'm in love with the girl. Now I'm just a walking emotional time-bomb.
FUCK ALL. When did my posts get so boring? Why were this post and the last one so bi-polar? I've got an answer for the last one: I'm going fucking nuts.

It's about time that this happened.

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 01:57:40 GMT

I daresay I've never felt this good. It seems like the vast majority of the times in my life I've stepped back and realized "Hell! I'm having a good time!" There's been an undercurrent of "In comparison to how I usually feel..." or just plain dormant depression. The last two days have been perfect. Let me repeat that: Fucking PERFECT.
Day before yesterday: Broke into the Green Valley school with Laurel and got stoned. Again. She spent the night and snuck into my room to sleep next to me. It's pretty unreasonable to expect eighteen-year-olds to sleep in seperate rooms or keep the door open when in the same room.
Yesterday: Even better, we got stoned with Isabelle and Sydnee in the Guerneville cemetary. The most beautiful I've seen the weather since autumn. Went to Goat Rock with Isabelle and Laurel. Turned our backs to the water. Carried around a sword on the beach. Spent the night at Laurel's place. She shared her Vicodan, I shared my Cabernet. We watched "Crybaby"
Today I smoked three cigarettes on the way to school, where I spent ninety minutes before leaving.
This sounds great and everything, but I can imagine that you'd have a hard time understanding why it was perfect unless you knew that I'm pretty solidly in love, and that all of the things I just described were done in the company of Laurel.

If you ever have that feeling that you've taken in too much love and beauty and you've got sensory overload. Imagine driving down the road to Goat Rock into a beautiful sunset with "Loveless" by My Bloody Valentine on and not being able to divide your attention between your cigarette and the ocean and staring at the girl you're in love with. Now I know what the singer for the Grand Color Crayon feels like when he's crowd-surfing. Too much. Too much love.

Geez, what a dumb post.

Hey Somoma County radio stations

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 15:19:17 GMT

Hey Kiss 98.1 FM has totally replaced The River 97.7 FM on my car-radio.
Hey my mouse-pad in this class says "Where Will You Be When the Smoke Clears?" and "Navy: Accelerate Your Life"
Hey I totally feel like a peice of shit.
Hey this whole Laurel thing is totally fucked....(voice trails off, stops talking, stares through the wall)

May the lord strike me out.

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 01:06:53 GMT

For these sins:

1. Laurel and I just broke into the abandoned Green Valley Hill school. (The piano is in much better shape than the one in the old Monte Rio school, but that isn't saying much. We talked very little. It was nice.)

2. Last week I sold a Camel Light to a freshman for three dollars.

3. I did about a third of what the rest of my Invisible Man group did in terms of work

4. I made Laurel listen to "Sing the Sorrow" by A.F.I. almost in it's entirity.

5. We got my puppies stoned.

Maybe I'll make it to purgatory, mabe I'll make second-base

Last night I saw Isis. It was fucking incredible. Next time I see them I'm going to bring a spliff.

Deadweight

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 17:15:18 GMT

I don't have enough fingers to cheat on the choose-your-own-adventure I started Sunday morning.
I'm not going crazy.

Red, White and Blue (Bali Shag loves America)

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 16:03:05 GMT

I've spent the week thinking up excuses for the way I smell.

Go don't stay

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 00:28:38 GMT

Anthony Jimenez is going to live in my closet.
Last night I had a panic attack and vomited.